it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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