TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
