you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
