Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
