you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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