did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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