Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
