You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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