Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize