would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
