4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
