I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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