I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
