wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
