Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
