Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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