She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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