Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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