Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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