the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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