he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
