Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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