I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
