shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize