He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
