I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize