Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
