No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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