that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
