i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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