So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's the barista slut.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
