I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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