So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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