I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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