Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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