Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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