thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
