hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
