What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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