they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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