how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
