just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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