put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Welp...herpes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize