just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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