I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
