I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
