its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
