Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
