When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
