Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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