guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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