Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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