Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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