I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Randomize
