My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
