Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
