im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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