I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
