Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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