hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
