We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
