Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
