i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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