giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
