Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
