I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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