from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
