Non-Jews are for practice
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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