My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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