That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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