Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
