I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
