I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
