so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
