Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize