nutella sex= disaster
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
