I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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