We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize