we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize