I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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