drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize