this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
